I am in the process of watching an anime series with a typical plot: a 17 year-old girl is turned into an “ultimate weapon” (最終兵器) and thus must rectify the two worlds in which she lives all while trying to understand love. Neither this plot nor anime in general are the point. There are times when I witness fantasy akin to it that I am almost overcome with a desire to enter into that world. I can only guess that this emotion is something I share with other humans. I simply find it curious that the feeling is so strong.

I fully realize that even if I were to go to Japan – a journey I should have made quite a long time ago and still have not – that that world would be no closer to the world of the anime than the world where I live. And yet, I pine for it still.

At least part of the attractiveness must be the eternal youth featured in such depictions. Aging is inevitable and even as a child I was not immune to its looming grasp. Every now and again I feel pangs of regret that time is slipping. I turn 30 soon and therefore it seems only just that I should feel them again. Certainly I know I am not old. I have only now fully matured.

Yet, youth has a seemingly inescapable pull. It clouds the mind with fantasy and therefore should be cast off. Or should it? Being an advocate of the middle path, I continually query myself as to where the lines should be drawn. Certainly, fantasy must be acceptable. Without it, we could not create the impossible as we do. Many modern conveniences were once considered impossible. Without their inventors obsession with the impossible they would not exist.

I suppose that is the crux of the matter. To obsess over the impossible can lead to great outcomes. But, dragons, and cyborgs, and super 17 year-old, school-girl-outfit-wearing killing machines are and will always be impossibilities, right? If they are never obtainable, surely they are waste of time. Unfortunately, it is impossible to prove their impossibility.

What is the moral? Who knows? I am going to go back to watching my anime, drink enough beer to forget there was ever an issue, and enjoy it.